Introduction

Dear readers,

Like anyone with a hungry stomach and a destination, I research Yelp reviews before trekking to a business where I might ingest cooked meat; places where I will leave with several inches of my hair snipped away, take my cat when he is ill, or otherwise spend my hard-earned money. I need a preview of what my experience will be like.

User reviews are indispensable and rarely fail me. But, scattered about the Internet, I have come across some of the funniest, most misspelled, most offhand user reviews posted by fellow diners, shoppers, tourists, and wannabe City Nightlife reporters, and the time has come that I share them with you, whoever you might be.

Yelp reviewers, Citysearch users, TripAdvisors, and Urbanspooners--many appear to possess basic to advanced English skills, and some simply know how to type (not necessarily real words). But what they all have in common is a sense of humor--or at least what reads like one.

I plan to update the blog every day with a new quotation as a promise to provide daily laughs, cultural insight, and consumerist common sense. These quotes are meant to be read foremost as a humor collection, and a funny travel guide exposing crass American culture, second. But mostly I just want you to laugh; because people, not just kids, say the darnedest things.

I don't claim ownership of these individual reviews and their rights belong to the respective host websites from which they were copied, and those individuals who composed these nuggets of commercial wisdom. The rights to the collection, organization, and artistic intent of these quotations, however, belongs to the owner of this blog.